Shocking Reveal: Lamar Jackson is Secretly Jimmy Butler in Disguise

Sports is shrouded in mystery. The successes of different teams and players are unpredictable. Sometimes we can track talented players’ origins all the way back to their birth. Other times, talent seems to rise out of nowhere.

This is one of those times.

Just who is Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson, 2016’s leading Heisman candidate? Where did he come from? And most importantly, is he really who he says he is?

A year-long investigation conducted by a special Sports Analytics unit has concluded that Lamar Jackson is none other than a masquerading Jimmy Butler. As always, our findings are rooted in numbers.

Jimmy Butler is listed at 27. Lamar Jackson is listed at 19. The difference between 27 and 19 is 8.

Jimmy Butler is listed at 6’7”. Lamar Jackson is listed at 6’3”. The difference between 6’7” and 6’3” is 4”. If Lamar Jackson is just an alias for Jimmy Butler, Butler would have at least two different identities. Two times four is 8.

Gematria is a method of calculating the numerical value of a name by adding the values of its constituent letters. The numerical value of Jimmy Butler in English Gematria is 888.

What number is Lamar Jackson? 8.

The numbers point the other direction, as well.

How many rushing touchdowns did Lamar Jackson score this season? 21.

Who’s Lamar Jackson’s favorite artist? Kodack Black. The numerical value of Kodack Black in English Gematria is 444. That’s three fours. Three plus four times three equals 21.

Jimmy Butler was born in Houston, Texas. Lamar Jackson claims to be born in Pompano Beach, Florida. A drive from Houston to Pompano Beach takes 16 hours and 21 minutes.

What number is Jimmy Butler? 21.

There’s also a plethora of convincing non-numerical evidence.

The Chicago Bulls and the the University of Louisville share similar black and red color schemes. Jimmy Butler likely has an affinity for these two colors. It would make sense for his alternate identity to embrace them, as well.

The Chicago Cubs are Chicago’s oldest baseball team. The Cubs archrival is the St. Louis Cardinals. The mascot of Lamar Jackson’s chosen university is none other than a cardinal. Jimmy Butler likely enrolled his alias Lamar Jackson in a Cardinal-sporting school to throw off our scent. But we were not fooled, Jimmy Butler.

Lamar Jackson and Jimmy Butler both have two letters repeated in their first names, “a” and “m.” “A” and “m” spell “am”. If one were to ask Jimmy Butler under oath if he were secretly Lamar Jackson, he would reply, “I am.”

However, when asked where he was when Louisville lost to Houston, Butler dunked on us.

Nonetheless, the evidence is overwhelming. Lamar Jackson is none other than an enigma crafted by Jimmy Butler for Saturday entertainment. Butler may have thought his tracks were covered, but justice always finds a way.

We invite Jimmy Butler to comment in his defense. Until then, we can only wonder what other identities the shooting guard has secretly adopted.

Scouring the MLB for a third,

Evan Brown


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